I’ve spent some time away to collect my thoughts but I’m still as jumbled as ever.
There’s a boy who is perfect, and the only thing that is stopping me is the fact that I simply can’t see him that way. He’s kind and smart and would be the kind of person who would be there for me, even if I didn’t need him-but alas, the heart wants what the heart wants and knows what it doesn’t.
There’s a boy who is so unlike me that it’s intriguing but I don’t know about him. He isn’t like the first, I don’t think I can expect him to be. I think if anything did happen, he wouldn’t try as hard as I do. And yet he’s far more fascinating than the first, probably because of that fact.
And you. You, you stupid arrogant son of a bitch. I still love you. I haven’t spoken to you for a month and a half and it’s been even longer since I’ve seen your face, but I would still drop everything in a heartbeat for you. Even now. I can’t decide if I’m angry or sad or simply bearing through it all with a brave mask but it doesn’t matter does it? Because, like always, I can’t be angry at you. I don’t want to love you. I still love you. I do still want to love you. I just want you. Again.
